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Identity is ?




















Identity controls behaviour
Identity controls emotions
Identity controls how we think
Identity controls behaviour.

Identity determines behaviour
Identity determines feeling
Identity determines our mental pictures
Identity determines behaviour.

We do not rule our believing
Our believing rules us
Our believing rules how we think
We do not rule our believing.

Identity controls behaviour
Believing controls identity
Identity is borne in what we believe
Who do you believe you are?

Peter Hall

How to Spend a Lazy Sunday Afternoon











Most people work for about five to six days a week. And Sundays become the only day they can spend time with their families or catch-up on personal things. Because of this, we look forward to Sundays so we can bond with our family or do the things we wanted to do, but were unable to during the week. The following are some suggestions to do on a Sunday afternoon:

One way you can enjoy a Sunday afternoon is to go on a picnic with your family or loved ones. Pack your picnic basket with food that is not complicated to eat, such as sandwiches, biscuits, fried chicken, eggs, bananas or grapes. Also, bring along games such as badminton rackets, cricket kit, or whatever outdoors games you enjoy playing. This is especially important if you bring kids along since they would much rather play than sit and eat the entire time. Another one is to have a barbecue at your terrace. If you don’t have a terrace, you can also do it in the garden or wherever there is a nice view. You and your family will surely have a great bonding time doing this. You can even go boating with your family and friends. If you don’t have a boat, there are some available for rent. Just decide where you would want to go and then, head of to it. Or you can just go to the beach to relax either by swimming or just enjoying the scenery, scent and sound. Or if you love history, then go to a museum with your spouse and kids. The trip would not only be something different and new, but educational, as well. Going to the movies is also another great way to spend a Sunday afternoon with the entire family. Just make sure you choose a movie that everyone will love, especially the kids. If you don’t feel like going out of the house or spending too much, there are also activities you can do at home.  You can watch a rented movie; bake something delicious with the kids; or surf the Internet, which offers a range of things to do from games to reading articles such as relationship advice for men and women.

Depending on where you live, some activities mentioned above may be difficult to do. It all just depends on what you think your family and you will enjoy and what you can afford. The important thing is you are able to spend a quality time with your family, if you already have one, or you are able to catch up on things for yourself and get ready for another week of work.

11 Tips for Clubbing

1- Pick the best real estate in the nightclub

Remember the three fundamentals of business: location, location, location? How many times have you seen hot women in a bar from afar, but were stuck at a table with your friends? You want to be mobile and ready to nonchalantly get near a woman who interests you. You want a spot with good visibility and high traffic, so as to be able to interact with more people than if you’re holed up in a booth in the corner. In the pickup game, it’s also good to have an excuse for being where you are — in line for drinks at the bar, or for the restroom — so as not to look like a stalker. Consider yourself in the picking up business, and adjust your location to take advantage of traffic patterns and sight lines accordingly.

2- Befriend the bartender/barmaid

Buy him or her a shot at the beginning of the night to get on his or her good side. This will help you get faster service when you want to buy a woman a drink, or just want to order for her to be chivalrous. Being connected, especially at a hot club, also makes you look like a big shot, which can only help your chances. And who knows, you may just wind up picking up the barmaid.

3- Forget the canned icebreakers

Pickup lines are lame. Women consistently rank honesty and a sense of humor very highly as desirable qualities in a man. A pickup line seems too premeditated, which makes it seem dishonest, and to women, dishonesty is threatening, not funny.

The only thing you can do to break the ice is react to or comment on the current situation, preferably in a humorous way. Humor is your fastest route in. Being in line, as explained above, is one obvious context to comment upon to someone near you — “I think I might have to cancel my retirement if this line doesn’t move along” kind of thing.

Otherwise, ask her to resolve a question you and your friend were wondering — or decided to wonder for icebreaking purposes. For example, you could ask if, in her opinion, the person across the room is committing a fashion crime with his/her getup, which naturally leads to an opening compliment on your target’s fashion sense, ostensibly the reason you want to know her opinion. There are millions of possibilities when you’ve got spontaneity, confidence and humor in your corner

4- Don’t go at it alone

Three is a good number. More if you can. Use a wingman, and a Kamikaze Pilot to put out fires, if you can. You can also use a wingwoman, which can really help, given that having attractive female friends makes you look appealing to women in general. If your wingwoman is drop-dead gorgeous, that could be intimidating to women, but not if you explain that she’s a friend. The fact that you’ve got such a hot friend you can restrain yourself around (say something like, “I just know we work better as friends. I don’t need to go there with her.”) reflects well on you.

5- Meet all her friends

If she’s with a group of friends, don’t simply pick her up and ignore her friends. Introduce yourself to the group. As you will likely not talk to many of them very long, first impressions really count here. Make a joke about whether there will be a name test later on, or in a noisy club, if a woman introduces herself as Sandra, lean in and say, “Sorry, Bernice, was it?” This joke underscores the idea that it’s too loud to actually talk to anyone who isn’t beside you. You’ve thereby charmed your target’s friends while also earning the right to talk only to her.

If you’re with your buddies, introduce them to the women also. Let both groups mingle, rather than simply picking up one of the girls.

6- Ask her to buy you a drink

Be original and ask her to offer you a drink, for a change. This demonstrates confidence and creativity. Being a little cocky and unconventional — while still suave, interesting and interested, of course — works. Otherwise, you could be just any generic guy with this year’s “in” shirt and hairstyle, trying to pick her up.

7- Dance your way in

If she’s on the dance floor, put yourself in her line of sight. Get in her vicinity, then into her dancing area naturally. At first, be sure to respect her personal space. Once you’ve gotten and held her eye contact for a bit, extend a hand to her as an offer to dance with you.

Eventually you can take up regular arm-in-arm dancing positions, but make the dancing itself the pickup move. Don’t use the closeness as an excuse to grope or start a full-on conversation. Hold your cards closer to your chest and save the intimate touching for later, once you’ve closed the deal. Then it’s not groping; it’s foreplay

8- Don’t pick up another man’s woman

Don’t cut another man’s grass. If a woman is there with a man, and she seems to be flirting with you, let her make the first step to you. Don’t move in while he’s gone to the bathroom, for example, as this can create very awkward situations. Do unto others, you know?

But even then, be careful. If a guy’s got a flirtatious girlfriend, let him work it out with her, not with your jaw, which will definitely set back both your ability and desire to pick up. There are plenty of fish in the sea, especially since, as a player, you’re not looking for “the one.”

9- Deal with a c*ck block

If another man moves into your territory and puts a move on the woman you’re working on, react swiftly. Don’t give him any importance and go about your business. Let your friends help you block him from the group.

Alternately, if you can clearly tell she finds him annoying, look in her eyes and tell her you’ll be right back. This shows you’re confident in the impression you’ve made on her and gives her the time to be fully annoyed by the other guy while also eagerly anticipating your return. That anticipation is building you up as much as hanging out with her ever could. Plus, you get the chance to save her from an uncomfortable situation.

10- Deal with bad company

This could be one of many women: an ex-girlfriend, the unattractive girl who’s infatuated with you, the overly chatty friend of a friend, etc. If she’s cramping your style while you’re trying to work the crowd, deal with it pronto.


You could feign interest in your conversation with her, call someone else into it for their opinion, then excuse yourself. This is clear enough without being straight-out rude. You could also use this boring time with her to figure out your icebreaker with someone you’ve spotted across the room, then tell her you just saw someone you’ve been meaning to talk to. At that point, you’re ready to go straight up to the other woman and give it a go, which means you haven’t even lied to Annoying Girl.

The possibilities are endless, but the point is, don’t be too nice and waste your time talking to a no-go — and be seen talking to her by other women you might want to work, who will then think you a) are interested in the dud, and therefore b) have bad taste.

11- Quit while you’re ahead

This is key. Unless it’s obviously going somewhere right then and there, once you get her number, don’t overstay your welcome. Leave the situation while you’re ahead. Say goodbye and mention you’ll call her to set up a date. At that point, ideally you would leave the club (you can make any excuse) — on a high note.

But what if you’ve paid a high cover charge and your friends/wingmen are staying?

You could, after you’ve got some digits, just move to another area and be sure not to let her see you picking up other women. On a good night, I can get several numbers in one club. The key is, if you’re worried a girl whose number you have already obtained will see you working another girl, just don’t be too intimate with girl No. 2. All girl No. 1 will see from afar is body language, so restrain yourself and let your eyes and words do more of the work on subsequent pickups. That shouldn’t burn any bridges.

One key: don’t drink too much, sobriety (or happy tipsiness) will help you restrain yourself on the later pickups.

source : askmen

Tea Etiquette in Afternoon







Afternoon tea is far less formal today, but some simple rules of etiquette still apply.

  • Pick up your cup and saucer together, holding the saucer in one hand and the cup in the other.
  • When stirring your tea, avoid making noises by touching the sides of the cup.
  • Never leave your spoon in the cup, and avoid sipping tea from your spoon.
  • Milk should be poured into the cup after the tea.
  • Lemon slices should be neatly placed in the teacup after tea has been poured.
  • Never add lemon with milk, as the citric acid will cause the milk to curdle


What Is Insomnia?











Insomnia (in-SOM-ne-ah) is a common sleep disorder. People who have insomnia have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or both. As a result, they may get too little sleep or have poor-quality sleep. They may not feel refreshed when they wake up.


Insomnia can be acute (short-term) or chronic (ongoing). Acute insomnia is common and often is brought on by situations such as stress at work, family pressures, or a traumatic event. Acute insomnia lasts for days or weeks.

Chronic insomnia lasts for a month or longer. Most cases of chronic insomnia are secondary, which means they are the symptom or side effect of some other problem. Certain medical conditions, medicines, sleep disorders, and substances can cause secondary insomnia.

In contrast, primary insomnia isn’t due to medical problems, medicines, or other substances. It is its own distinct disorder, and its cause isn’t well understood. Many life changes can trigger primary insomnia, including long-lasting stress and emotional upset.

Insomnia can cause daytime sleepiness and a lack of energy. It also can make you feel anxious, depressed, or irritable. You may have trouble focusing on tasks, paying attention, learning, and remembering. These problems can prevent you from doing your best at work or school.

Insomnia also can cause other serious problems. For example, you may feel drowsy while driving, which could lead to an accident.


Treating the underlying cause of secondary insomnia may resolve or improve the sleep problem, especially if you can correct the problem soon after it starts. For example, if caffeine is causing your insomnia, stopping or limiting your intake of the substance might make the insomnia go away.

Lifestyle changes, including better sleep habits, often help relieve acute insomnia. For chronic insomnia, your doctor may recommend medicines or cognitive-behavioral therapy.

5 tips menikmati makan siang tanpa takut merusak program diet

Memasuki jam makan siang, merupakan saat-saat yang menyenangkan untuk setiap orang. Namun, untuk yang tengah menjalankan program diet, makan siang terkadang menjadi masalah.

Nah, daripada pusing-pusing memilih menu apa yang akan dinikmati, beberapa informasi seputar pola makan yang mendukung program diet yang dikutip dari laman healthy ini mungkin bisa membantu.

1. Makan Buah Dulu
Sejumlah penelitian menyatakan bahwa mengkonsumsi satu buah apel atau pir sebelum menikmati santapan siang, akan lebih banyak menurunkan berat badan.

Buah yang kaya akan serat, membuat perut menjadi lebih kenyang sehingga mengurangi jatah makan siang dan keinginan menikmati camilan, setelah makan siang.

2. Sertakan Sup 
Sementara itu, penelitian yang lain menyatakan bahwa mereka yang menikmati makan siang dengan makan sup akan memperoleh kalori lebih sedikit daibanding menu lain.

Selain irit kalori, sup yang tidak menggunakan krim akan terasa lebih menyenangkan. Kalau ingin ditambah nasi, bisa memilih beras merah sebagai padanan.

3. Jangan Lupakan Protein
Selain karbohidrat, protein juga dibutuhkan untuk metabolisme tubuh. Fungsinya untuk mempertahankan tingkat metabolisme dan menekan selera makan.

Kalangan peneliti menyatakan, sertakan selalu tambahan protein dalam menu makan siang agar kondisi tubuh tetap stabil. Untuk pilihan menunya antara lain, ikan, ayam tanpa kulit, daging tanpa lemak, ataupun kacang-kacangan.

4. Makan Secara Perlahan
Masyarakat Perancis terkenal sangat menikmati setiap kunyahan makanan yang dipesan, sehingga terlihat cenderung perlahan.

Ternyata, apa yang dilakukan oleh orang Perancis akan membuat perut lebih cepat kenyang dan menekan selera dan porsi makan sehingga mereka tetap dapat menjaga berat badannya.

5. Kurangi Makan Bersama-sama 
Makan siang bersama teman memang terasa lebih menyenangkan. Ternyata, sebuah studi yang dilakukan oleh Georgia State University, Amerika Serikat menyatakan orang akan lebih banyak mengkonsumsi makanan jika makan bersama teman-teman.Hasil studi itu menyatakan, makan bersama satu orang, meningkatkan tingkat konsumsi 28% lebih banyak, dua orang 41% lebih banyak dan enam orang 76% lebih banyak.
Penulis: healthy/Feriawan Hidayat